Saturday. August 16, 2014
DAY FIVE
I am surrounded by dying men. On Day Five of my odyssey from
Okaloosa to some place south, I find myself inside a stifling room packed with
seventy-plus fellow prisoners who suffer with me. Four bunks down from me lies
a cadaverous, shrunken man with most of his jaw eaten away by a cancer that has
spread to his lungs and other parts of his failing body. He is one of many.
This prison is officially called the North Florida Reception and Medical
Center-West Unit, at Lake Butler,
Florida, but to thousands of
old-timers it’s called RMC Butler, or “Wild, Wild West.” It has tamed down a lot over the years, like
most of us, but still retains vestiges of its old, violent reputation.
A percentage of my fellow prisoners, like me, are in
transit, waiting for our seats on the prison bus to somewhere else. Another
portion of men are here for the “medical” aspect of RMC, and range from those
with fairly minor impairments that require them to stay here for treatment, to
those who are terminal, but still “ambulatory.”
“Ambulatory.” What a word that is. If you can still struggle
up from your bunk and make it to the chow hall and back, you are considered
ambulatory, and can stay here at Wild, Wild West. But once you fall and can’t
get up, you get taken to the RMC Main Unit, where the prison hospital is
located. These dying old men strive to function here, as a matter of personal
hope, but many are in the “denial” phase of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’ seven stages
of dying.
I didn’t think I would still be here today. I wrote about
Days One, Two, and Three the day after I got here, after the bus trip to Hell
and back, and expected to be awakened and ride south to Orlando, but again the Passover Angel tapped
others to leave. I’m not complaining. I needed the recuperation time after what
I went through at NWFRC, or Washington C.I. Annex, which I’ll write about at
another time, and the cruel and unusual punishment I endured from sadistic
prison guards. The high point
of the week was getting a much-needed visit from my wife, Libby, today.
After having to spend hundreds of dollars to travel to the
Panhandle each time she came to visit, and endure more travails, Libby had a
relatively short, one hour drive from Jacksonville,
through the North Florida woods to visit me
today. You should be able to see my happiness in the photo she included with my
Part One update. After the prison Hell Week, the people in charge of visiting
were surprisingly courteous and relaxed, allowing us to have one of our best
visits in a long time, not counting our May 24th marriage (The
Best). We got to walk around outside, on the grass, in the sun, which was a
welcome change from being forced to make little circles inside a cage bristling
with video cameras and surly guards watching every move we made, as if we were
Taliban terrorists at Guantanamo.
When I see a very old man in prison, I try to look at his
I.D. card, at his name and prison number, to see if I know him. The old-timers
have aged so badly that many men I once knew in years past I don’t recognize.
This one old man had a “024…” number from 1968! I thought he
must be 85 or 90 years old, at least, but his card said he was born in 1946.
1946! That couldn’t be right. No way this walking skeleton could be only three
years older than I am. But he was. I recognized his name, Freddie Yokom, who I
knew over thirty years ago at “The Rock,” Raiford, Union C.I., but not the
person in front of me now. What happened to that thirty-something highly
competent vital man who ran the prison canteen operation several decades ago?
Dying in prison. Talking was very difficult with the missing jawbone and the
embarrassing constant drool, but he could whisper a little to me at a time. We
talked.
Another man walked over to my bunk when I first began
writing this. He had to be in his sixties, and stood there smiling, waiting for
me to notice him.
“You don’t remember
me, do you?” he said.
I confessed I didn’t, that there had been thousands of men
who’d known me over the years, but only one of me. I asked him to tell me who
he was, where he knew me from, etc., but when he repeated the litany of prisons
and the dates he’d been there, I realized that none of our imprisonments had
coincided, that I could not have forgotten him, since I’d never known him. That
happens, too, the failure of memory, after decades of imprisonment. Like vast
herds of zebras and wildebeests on the Serengeti, we all look the same. The
predators can pick out the old, the sick, and weak, and “cull” them, a polite
word for “eat.” We all await being culled.
When I came in from the air conditioned visiting park at
three p.m., the sun scorched the asphalt, the heat penetrating the soles of my
shoes. The TV weatherman said it was 95 degrees with a heat index of 105
degrees, again, just like the last several days. Inside the sweltering dorm,
the asphalt roof shingles absorbed the heat and passed it into oven we were
confined inside. It seemed hotter inside than outside. The only relief came
from several meager slowly spinning ceiling fans and a wall fan that stirred
the syrupy hot air. Men lay around like lizards on hot rocks in the Galapagos,
somnolent.
Count time. Four o’clock, the hottest hour of the endless
day. A young pregnant guard came out with a young male guard to count us. No
talking, no whispering, silence. When a guard — especially a young white female
— exhibits hostility or a harsh tone, it is a given that some young black
prisoner in the herd will rise to the bait and respond. Can’t help it. It is a
prison syndrome.
So he did. She stopped, anger contorting her features beyond
her brief years. Taking prison personally — a fatal flaw. She can’t identify
the malefactor in the crowd, so she does what she is conditioned o do — punish
everyone.
Back in her air-conditioned guard booth she shut off the
fans. No air, no ventilation. What do they call them — induction ovens? I’ve
seen them on TV. Multiply the dimensions to our human warehouse size, and
seventy men began to bake. After spending most of last Wednesday in the
Easy-Bake prison bus oven, 110 degrees or more seemed balmy. I lay there
quietly meditating, controlling my breathing, centering myself, waiting for
someone else to raise their head above the foxhole and take the shot.
One did. Another young black prisoner went to her door,
loudly complained about the torture, she yelled at him, then, allowing five
more minutes to make it look like she was doing us a favor, the fans came back
on.
I shook my head at the thought of such a young person
becoming hostile, jaded, and sadistic so soon in her corrections career that
she had no qualms about inflicting misery on seventy people who had done
nothing to her. I wonder how those traits will develop, fester, and manifest
themselves in years to come, as she gets more comfortable with abusing her
authority. The older ones train and encourage the younger ones. The meanest
ones get promoted.
Time has passed. It is now eleven p.m., lights are going
out, and I must put this away. I await DAY SIX of this prison odyssey, and pray
I will be alive tomorrow to complete this journal. Good night, and God bless,
Charlie
DAY SIX Sunday, August 17, 2014 7:41 a.m.
I made it to another day. Hopefully, after they count us
again, in half an hour, I can shower and get ready to visit with my wife,
Libby, once more before I head south this week. Two subjects I want to comment
on before I move on.
“They’re Stealing My Clothes!”
That’s what one prisoner cried out at NWFRC, a/k/a
Washington C.I. Annex a few days ago. I approached a long counter where guards
stood on one side ransacking bags of meager property of the prisoners facing
them from the other side.
“Here we go again,”
another prisoner mumbled. “More Washington bullshit.”
There was a time years ago, when a person came to prison,
was issued three blue uniforms, “state” tee shirts, boxers, and socks, and was
expected to take care of them. Every six months or year, when the prison-issued
clothing became threadbare and began to fall apart from repeated washings in
harsh laundry chemicals, there was a procedure for exchanging the ragged
clothing for new. No more.
Blame it on budget cuts. Laundry sergeants complain that
their money has been cut more and more each year, resulting in prisoners
wearing clothing that looks like it was cast-off by refugees or bums living in
the woods. Tee shirts barely held together by threads, stained (no soap) boxers
and rags for socks are the norm. One “free person” at Okaloosa who had worked
at several other prisons over her fifteen-year career, commented on the ripped
and ragged blue uniforms worn by prisoners in her class, said, “My goodness,
I’ve never seen such poorly-dressed inmates.”
Cold weather gear — yes, it gets cold in Florida, down to the twenties — I remember a
Christmas Eve where the temperature dropped to eighteen degrees. But the only
winter clothing issued are thin, unlined blue jackets made from the same
material used in the trousers.
Hoping to relieve some of the budget pressure, the prison
authorities approved a procedure where prisoners’ families could purchase
certain clothing items over the Internet, and the order would be given to the
prisoner a few weeks later. Hanes tee shirts, boxers, and socks, sweatshirts,
thermals, tennis shoes and work boots. They’re yours. Mark them and take care
of them. Most prisoners who had families took advantage of the opportunity to
have decent “whites,” and warm personal clothing for winter. No problem.
Then we get to NWFRC, Washington, and the property guards
are snatching everyone’s personal clothing purchased by their families,
stealing their clothing, putting them in a large pile, saying that the official
FORM DC6-220, Department of Corrections property list was invalid, that they
could only have the clothes on their backs.
Didn’t that happen before?
I seem to recall in history where Nazi Germany did the same thing to the Jews
on the way to the concentration camps. Long trips in cattle cars. At least they
weren’t killing us… Wait — I take that back. They aren’t killing all of us yet, just a few
at a time, spread out over the months.
Back to the stealing. The clothing situation got so bad at
Okaloosa that they began making boxers on the sewing machines from sheets.
I saw men in front of me in line vainly pleading with the
guards to let them keep their personal clothing.
“My elderly mother did
without to buy this for me,” one said.
His pleas fell on deaf ears.
My turn. The guard dumped out my clothing from the laundry
bag. “You’re not taking my property.”
He stopped, looking at me like I was a talking dog. They
aren’t used to opposition. I stared at him, channeled the expressions of a
couple of psychopaths I know, let my eyes flare like those wrestlers on TV, and
developed a tic I’d learned from watching Oliver Reed transform into a werewolf
in a classic movie. Those moves are usually sufficient to deter most prison
bullies.
Primates have innate reactions to certain body language and
nonverbal communications. They can sense when another primate is about to start
screaming. We are primates. Ask Tarzan. The guard bully couldn’t maintain the
eye contact. He was wrong, and he knew it. His bluff didn’t work. Mine did. He
folded.
He rifled through my clothing for a few moments, looking
down, and pulled out two personal towels I’d had since the 1990’s,
well-documented on multiple Forms DC 6-220’s, that they had been listed as my
property.
“You’re not allowed to
have towels,” he said, not looking me in the eye. He snatched the towels
from my belongings and tossed them on the large pile of stolen personal
clothing behind him. “Pack this shit up
and move along. Next,” he said, motioning for the next victim to step
forward.
I’d figured I’d gotten away in far better shape than anyone
else, so I packed my clothing and left.
For every minor victory, we will suffer far greater abuses
and defeats [prophetic words; retaliation came just a
few short hours later at Double-Cross
City. Libby].
Their decks are stacked against us.
They are calling me to visit. I will continue this journal
and report after I return. Thanks for hanging in there with me this far.
Charlie
1 comment:
How about the Wild Wild West Unit? The crucial enduring pain of hopping off that prison bus.. Holding that bag of clothes no lower than your chest line. Dont sugar coat it. You cant touch, nor dare touch them boxers, no no, not before you bend over, forehead on that bench! Grab them cheecks an pull on out wide.. They said to all 70 + of us.. "We wanna see them Assholes" Welcome to the Wild Wild West.
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