Saturday, February 23, 2013


DAY TWENTY FIVE: Prison Diary January 27, 2013 Solitary Confinement Okaloosa C.I., Crestview, FL (coming to you from a dismal prison far, far away from civilization)

If you’ve been keeping score, back here in solitary with me, crossing off numbers on the wall, unless the trolls throw me a curve, I have five more days left in “the hole.” They do that sometimes. You’re already in “the box” on trumped up charges, enraged power-mad people abusing their authority by locking you up to “teach you a lesson,” or “bring you down a notch,” (I’ve heard them both before) you keep your nose clean, which infuriates them worse, so before your thirty days are up they tack on another false charge to extend your stay. Think about it. What kind of sick puppy would get enjoyment out of doing that? It happens.

By the time you read this, hopefully, the way the mail runs, I’ll have been released. Friday, February 1st is the 30th day. I’m looking forward to it, looking forward to going to the canteen and getting a cheeseburger, looking forward to hearing the voices of family and friends on the phone, to let them know I am out of the cage and walking around. Looking forward to going to the visiting park on Saturday, to be around some decent, “normal” people who love me, not the ones who hate.

Something that irritates the hell out of the “haters” is how little I let these setbacks get to me. I never get angry or curse anyone out, to open myself to more “discipline.” They don’t have the ability to get my goat, or provoke me. I just keep on doing positive things, make the best of a bad situation, and that spites them worse.

You have to stay focused in prison. No matter how agreeable you try to be, the threat of violence is everpresent, and you have to keep yourself strong. Every day in lockup I work out for awhile. If nothing else, it tires you out, and you can get to sleep better. But exercise keeps you from getting weak. I do pushups and situps, stretching, some yoga - you have to watch out for some of those positions! - some calisthenics. With the small portions of food, you’re going to lose weight, so you have to keep your strength up. I came in on January 3rd at 237 pounds. At last Wednesday’s weigh-in, after 21 days, I’d lost sixteen pounds, and probably a few more since then. That’s a good thing. I needed to lose it.

I used my time to think, and work on my appeals, get legal work done, and work on my literary writing. Good thing I got more paper and pens on the bi-weekly order. I’ve gone through over 150 sheets of paper and four pens since I’ve been back here. I wrote letters, wrote some poems and a play, and knocked out a large chunk of the new novel I’m working on.

And no, for my troll readers, I am not seeking “compensation” for it. Why would I? Why would I want to go to the hassle of getting a novel published in prison, and make nothing on it, when I can wait until I get out, make my own deals, do promotion, and earn a decent living? These people don’t understand economics.

When I was able to paint in here, before they took all our art materials, I was working on a painting and a guy asked me, “How much you selling that for?” I told him I wasn’t selling it - I was sending it home. “Why not?” I explained that my paintings were my “retirement plan,” that when I got out, and could market them myself, they’d be worth a lot more money than I could ever sell them for in prison. The same holds true for books. It is much smarter to get out and have six books to sell, that I worked on for years, polished up, got ready for prime time, than to hassle in here with small-minded, hateful, vindictive people who resent anyone with more education that the G.E.D. that they have.

And I spent as lot of time reading the Bible, always a good thing for prisoners, in times of trouble. I am inspired by Paul who wrote his letters from prison, always encouraging his readers to walk a straight path, fight the good fight, and hoping and praying to rejoin his people in freedom. He stayed optimistic until the end, always expecting to get oput, even when they killed him. Kept the faith. And so I keep the faith, and I thank you for keeping the faith with me.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Charlie, You are NOT supposed to know what a damned Internet troll IS. LMFAO (vox)

Hey TROLLS let the good man out and take up in for life some of the swine you overlook out here in the real world.