prison funerals

 

July 7, 2022

A friend recently asked me how prisoners who died while incarcerated were handled; the following was my reply, which Libby thought was worthy of posting, as others may be interested:

A brief treatise on prison funerals.

The Florida Administrative Code, Chapter 33 Rules, FDC, regulate procedures concerning inmate deaths, notifications, and funerals. I haven't read the updated rules, since they don't particularly pertain to me, yet. Check the FDC website for corroboration.

From 1980--83 I lived in Bldg 7, C Area, of the Southwest Unit, 13 bldgs, air conditioned, your own key to your two-man cell door. Best living conditions in Florida prisons at the time. My cell window looked south, past the gun tower and the triple fences, across a large cow pasture, up a hill where the prison cemetery rested. Some people called it Boot Hill, after the movie Westerns. Others called it Gopher Ridge. Having never been there, I couldn't confirm the presence or absence of gophers.

My friend Roy died in a botched escape attempt. The chaplain notified his next-of-kin, his wife, in Tampa, asking if she wanted his body. She replied, "What am I supposed to do with it?"

The Starke Funeral Home had the state contract for prison deaths. Roy was taken there. They embalmed him, put him in a cheap pine box, and took him to Gopher Ridge. Several inmates with minimum custody on the outside grounds squad dug the grave. A chapel orderly, Nat Grimes, read some words from the Bible. The state auto tag plant made an aluminum tag with Roy's prison number only. No name. The tag was attached to a white cross. That was it.

Years later a new rule was posted, stating that unclaimed bodies could be cremated, saving the state money.

I suppose Gopher Ridge is still there.

Charlie Norman

CAN ONE BE A SUCCESS IN PRISON?

 

06-05-2022

Good morning. My name is Charlie Norman, and I am honored to have been asked to speak before this Gavel Club banquet on the subject of success. I hope together we can answer the question, can one be a success in prison?

When I was seventeen years old I went to church every Sunday. I was actively involved in our church youth group. We had several married couples who were our counselors, and one, Carol O'Neal, asked me to lead our fundraising activities for our upcoming summer projects. I organized Saturday car washes, spaghetti dinners, and door-to-door sales of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, a very popular item. We raised so much money that we paid for our summer camp programs, our beach weekends, a big banquet, and left money for the younger group behind us.

Carol O'Neal jokingly said to me, "Charlie Norman, by the time you're twenty-one, you'll be either a millionaire or in Raiford."

For those who don't know, Raiford was the state prison, also known as The Rock and Union C. I.

Carol never knew how prophetic her words would be.

My life turned and twisted in different directions. For about a four-year period I lived the high life, wearing a gold Rolex, dressing in hand-stitched Italian silk suits, flying first class on jumbo jets to exotic locales, partying with fashion models, rock stars, and professional athletes, and making more illicit money than I ever imagined. By the standards of the crowd I ran with, I was a huge success. It wasn't to last.

Carol missed it by a few years. I was thirty years old the day that battered prison bus drove through the River Gate and dropped me off at Raiford, the state prison. By anyone's standard, with a fresh life sentence, I was a total failure.

A few years later my younger brother Danny brought his family, wife Sandy, children Timmy and Tammy, to visit.

Danny said to me, "Charles, I wish I were as smart as you."

I was flabbergasted. Sure, I had always made good grades, and earned a four-year academic scholarship to the University of South Florida, but I had to be pretty stupid to wind up in prison for life.

"Dan," I said, "What are you talking about? You have a wife and children who love you, a house, a good job, a dog and cat, a boat, two cars, you go to church on Sunday, you're free to travel anywhere you choose, and the only times you've been in a jail or prison was when you came to visit me. I have ten dollars in my pocket, and when I leave here later, I'll be locked in a cell. That doesn't sound very smart to me. You're ten times smarter than I am."

Success.

Can anyone tell me, what is the definition of success? Raise your hands, please.

The dictionary says that success is ---

<--The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors

<--The attainment of one's goals

<--The attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like

<--A performance or achievement that is marked by success, such as the attainment of honors. " The play was an instant success."

When researchers ask men and women what are their definitions of success, they get a wide range of answers that change over time.

Overall, women define success in terms of life balance and relationships. Men define success more in terms of material success. How much money do you make?

Think about what success means to you, in your life. What do you have to do to feel successful?

Let me share with you how regular people have defined success.

--"Accomplishing the goal of helping myself and others lead a better, happier, healthier life."

--"Achievement of goals that help others succeed."

--"Positive outcome after hard effort and useful experience."

--"Success is about perception. It can be a defeat, but if you think it is a good result you will be happy."

--"To me, success is felt and realized when our works achieve acclaim. A sense of satisfaction at the end of each day is success, too."

--"Success is the positive consequence of one's achievement."

Let me share more definitions of success from famous people:

--John Wooden, an acclaimed basketball coach, said, "Success is piece of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

"The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do."

"If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time." Steve Jobs.

'I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure-- try to please everybody."

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." Albert Schweitzer.

"Fall down seven times. Stand up eight." Japanese proverb.

My favorite, by Ralph Waldo Emerson--

"To laugh often and much to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children to appreciate beauty to find the best in others to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child or a garden patch--to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is success."

What is the definition of success to you? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What makes you the happiest?

What satisfies your core needs?

What do you value?

What types of accomplishments feel the most worthwhile to you?

Does your idea of success have multiple parts?

When I came to prison over forty years ago, several wise old prisoners saw something in me and took me under their wings, giving me valuable advice on surviving a life sentence. If you are going to survive and succeed in prison, they told me, you have to make a few big decisions, what kind of person you are going to be, that will eliminate a lot of little decisions in the future.

I decided I wanted to become a better person, to improve myself and help others. I renewed my faith in God, and attended Kairos. I joined Gavel Club.

 

I took every program available. I took college courses. I studied writing, and my poems, short stories, memoirs and essays were widely published. My plays were performed in New York City.

I wanted to become an artist, so I studied art for years.

My writing directly led me to my greatest accomplishment in prison. Twenty-two years ago I met, fell in love with, and eventually married my wife, Libby, a most extraordinary woman, my life partner. Together, we pray that one day soon we will continue our lives in free society.

You need to take your success and the skills you developed to achieve it, with you wherever you go, both inside and outside the fences.

The question remains-- can one succeed in prison? You have to want it.

By my own example, the answer is yes.

Thank you.

Charles Patrick Norman

June 6, 2022